i'm a puzzle

i've been taking my mind of this all day, keeping myself busy with work instead of looking in. it's one of those days i guess. i feel like i'm missing a few pieces to a larger picture that will never be glued together, framed and displayed for everyone to see. there are many things that are in place. family, my love life, friends, work. i've even sought outside help, once a week, to balance the week before and prep me for the one ahead. it's difficult to look in. even for no reason at all.

"genius writer"

it was 4th grade science class (at saint mary's academy in pasay city) when i discovered, holy shit i'm not cut out to be a doctor. we were studying the parts of the body that entire quarter, and it was a whole week on the cerebral system or whatever. she pulls out a white plastic bucket containing a human brain. it looked plasticized and smelled of formaldehyde. i couldn't wait until the next class to get the visual and the stench out of my head. it just happened to be english - my favorite subject. we were asked to write an essay on what we want to be when we grow up. i titled my paper "genius writer."

extreme makeover: home edition

ok, i love me some american idol, project runway, lost and alias but i gotta say sunday nights belong to extreme makeover. it's a good cry, people! watch it.

san diego weekend.

romy in front of my college apartment complex

mission bay park

mission beach

sunset at mission beach



sneaking in to romy's old bedroom in oceanside

i just ordered a birthday cake and it cost $52. sweet lady jane. i'm so grubbing on that tomorrow. plus, i'm taking the aimers out to lunch. sushi. it's going to be a great day.

separated at birth?

no one reads me.

i guess that's a good thing because i can say whatever i want. but then again, a lot of what i want to say, i hope makes people think, laugh, cry, sneer, come, whatever.
oh well. i'm sure my hilary duff, jesse mccartney, ashlee simpson, jojo, good charlotte and green day stories are read by millions of teens everyday.
is that all there is?

happy valentine's day.

it'll be my second official valentine's day, ever. romy and i are going low key tonight. i'm taking him on short drive and then having dinner under the stars. i'm such a romantic sap, and i love it. i hope he likes my little plan.
i also got him a surprise for tomorrow. the package was supposed to be delivered today, but it didn't work out so it'll get to his office tomorrow morning. i'm so excited for him to find out.
there are days when the words fly out of my hands it seems, and then there are those, when i'm satisfied by typing just a few. today is one of them.
i love you. all of you.

the crammys.

how come i don't have an awards show named after me? i mean that would be completely cool if i just handed out trophies to whoever i please. they don't even have to release an album before a cutoff date. shit, they don't even have to release anything. like, here you go, you've just won a crammy. how does it feel? then kelly clarkson will get all teary-eyed and thank roger her publicist, her mom, debbie and paula abdul's drinking problem. i get to pick the performers too. do away with the random duets. well, except for the paul mccartney/right said fred tribute to the beverly hills 90210 soundtrack. kanye west is allowed 10 minutes of speech time - except every word he says must be in a different language. try to say "i am the greatest person ever" now, kanye. fergie will host the show. not bep fergie, she's changing her wet shorts. i'm talking slim fast duchess of york peppermint patty fergie. she'll borrow one of cher's award show outfits from the 80s, except she'll be barefoot and accusing joss stone for stealing her jimmy choos. i'm not on acid right now. it's 4 pm on a friday and i'm going out of my mind.

by the way...

kelly clarkson did not thank me during either of her grammy speeches. that bitch.

nonsense friday.

so i'm not really sure what i'm writing about today. just finished hanging framed autographed pinups at our front office lobby. waiting for my vegetable tempura and tokyo fried rice that i ordered for lunch. it's going to be a crazy busy afternoon today. the click five are dropping by and playing "guest editors." i want nothing more than to be done with it already. and it's not even 1 pm yet. romy and i are looking into a mini-getaway this weekend in prep for valentine's day. my mom left for the philippines last night and she'll be flying for 19 hours. she's visiting my aunt, her sister, who is really, really sick. lung cancer. the woman never touched a cigarette her entire life. i guess it happens a lot though, especially with women. i think the pollution in the country affected her respiratory system as well. i miss my truck. the tacromy. i'm swapping cars with candy tonight, right after dinner at some thai place in the valley.
i don't feel altogether well today. not really sick, but that feeling one gets when they're about to. lord, i hope i don't get sick this weekend. or next week. just a lot of things catching up to me. i have a session tomorrrow morning. my second time going. i'm going to be a mess again for the first part of the day, but i think that's ok. it's maintenance. it's letting stuff go. it's deep breaths.

tragic and funny. i'm going to hell.

i don't want to be a stupid girl.

but sadly, i am. i am a label whore. specially jaclyn smith, kathy ireland and blaire catalogs. now that i got that out of my system...hi. i'm back. i'm freshly showered, dried my eyes, and i'm feeling much better. even met kelly "KELLY CLARKSON!" clarkson yesterday. such a sweetheart. i wish her luck at tomorrow's grammy's. and she better not forget to thank me.

:(

music makes me lose control.

Here's today's (and probably the month of February) playlist:

1. "All I Want" by Toad the Wet Sprocket - Whatever happened to these guys? One of my all-time favorite songs. Melody. Lyrics. Emotions. Awesome.

2. "Be Without You" by Mary J. Blige - MJB's vocals border on overdramatic in my opinion, but she got me with this song. It's soulful and sexy.

3. "Tomorrow, Wendy" by Concrete Blonde - Short and sweet, with a beautiful haunting melody. Reminds me of when I bought my first guitar, this was one of the first songs I wanted to play.

4. "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake - Fun song. Fun song to workout to. Plus, "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song." Why didn't I write that line???

5. "Oh Sheila" by Ready for the World - 'Nuff said. <3>