can you hear me now?
I read on Wikipedia today that the Filipino-American community is the SECOND LARGEST Asian American group in the United States, after the Chinese. Yet, unlike the Chinese Americans, Korean Americans and Japanese Americans, we are considered the "invisible minority." It's interesting because this has hit so close to home several times since I moved to the United States in 1990. I was often asked by junior high classmates what type of "oriental" I was. When I'd answer them and say "I'm Filipino," they followed up with "Oh, is that LIKE Chinese?" or "I looooooooove sushi." This happened in California, okay, where Filipino-Americans are as common as SIG alerts on the 405. It was irritating, but I didn't speak up to my classmates because all I wanted was to look, feel and talk like them. So I tried my best to lose my accent, a feat considering I spoke fluent Tagalog at home. I made friends with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid and the most whitewashed Mexican-American kid in school. We became best friends throughout junior high and high school, but not once was my Filipino culture discussed, unless blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid made a joke about how my parents owned "a rice scooper." L-O-fucking-L.
Things slightly changed in college, except I got confused a lot with being Hawaiian. It is not the same thing. I filled out hundreds of surveys, test forms, application forms asking me to check a box for my ethnicity or race. Hmmm...there's a box for Asian and there's a box for Pacific Islander. Which is it? This was always the part where I'd spend the most time on or the part I have to come back to. When pressed for time, I simply checked "Other" just to throw the stats off. Karma's a huge bitch though, and it threw it right back in my face on my college graduation. The podium speaker took one look at me, then at the piece of paper where I had written my full name, and called out "Cueng...Co!" It's funny now, but at that time all I wanted to do was rip the hair out of that foolish woman. Even after college, I still feel as if my values and my culture are being overlooked. It makes me question how I act around people and putting blame on myself for not speaking up at times.
Being an "invisible minority" in the gay world is an even bigger issue. As a gay-Filipino-American, there are several social "hurdles," like explaining to people that Filipino is not the same as (insert other Asian American group here). Instead of bringing one closer to others who may have gone through similar experiences, you are immediately confined to being an outsider. It's twice as hard to meet people when you're single. Thankfully, I've met someone who recognizes, identifies and respects my culture. In the last year, I have also met wonderful and inspirational writers, activists and friends who are Filipino-American. Through them, I've learned belonging to the "invisible minority" does not and should not stop me from being heard.
